


cold and numb

by hollow_city



Series: in this house, we eat brains (and solve murders) [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), iZombie (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Cussing, Gen, Humor, Just More Brains, Not Canon Compliant, Zombie AU, light gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-13 20:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11193009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollow_city/pseuds/hollow_city
Summary: jason swore he'd never set foot in the gcpd headquarters ever again.





	cold and numb

**Author's Note:**

> let me clarify: since jason woke up as a zombie. nobody tossed him into the lazarus pit, no one in the league of assassins got their hands on him (at the moment...) and he never had a while to plan his revenge on the joker and the entire batfam. i'm not saying all of those have been completely struck from his storyline, but i want to make sure that's clear. it means _this_ jason is not the same, pit-madness ridden, murderous (okay, only to some extent), revenge driven villain that he started out as when he came back. he's still jason, though.

When Jason was Robin, he'd go to the police headquarters with Bruce all the time. He still felt tense around police officers and wouldn't turn his back on any of them, but that came from years on the streets. But he wasn't so hesitant; at least he had Bruce with him if anything went wrong. 

Now that Jason is technically dead (there's nothing technical about it), he hates the place even more than he did before. Not because he's a criminal (even though he technically is), but because the cops continue to mess with his operations. He'll be in the middle of a stakeout as part of a carefully planned operation and suddenly a flock of police officers come busting in and ruin everything. He's got a tally going; they've destroyed three of his plans so far. 

So he swore he'd never set foot in that place again, and that he'd never ask for the help of a cop again in his life, but he breaks his promises quite a lot these days. 

Which is why he's currently stumbling down the stairs into the GCPD morgue. He wouldn't have come here if it weren't urgent. He wouldn't even have thought about it. But now he's sweating and stumbling and altogether an utter disaster. His insides feel like they're twisting every which way and his head is throbbing with each step he takes, but he doesn't stop. He's worked in these conditions before, he can do it again.

He just hopes Liv is in. 

"Liv!" he calls out roughly as he stumbles down the last steps into the dreary and cold morgue. It's bright, but something about it seems just a bit off. Just like pretty much every other place in Gotham, really. 

The sound of a saw cuts off, and he's suddenly aware that he definitely did not notice that, and that's not good. He's supposed to be observant and aware one hundred percent of the time and-  _oh, no._ Even his thoughts still sound like Bruce. 

"Present!" an overly cheerful voice calls back, and Jason waits, leaning against the doorway, for her to come around to corner so he doesn't have to move again. When she doesn't seem to be coming, he lets out a grunt of annoyance and pushes himself away from the wall, using it to keep himself steady as he stumbles down the small hallway. 

When he enters the morgue, the sight in front of him isn't something he hasn't seen before. A body is lying on the metal table and Liv is standing over it. She still holds the bone saw in her hand and a bright smile is stretched across her face. It's a little disconcerting, considering what she's currently engaging in. 

"J-" she starts to say his name in recognition, but before she can, he's across the room and pressing his gloved hand against her mouth. Her eyes widen but she doesn't struggle to get away. Probably because she has a bone saw in her hand, and thinks she can use it as a defense mechanism. She can't.

"I may have told you my name," he grits out, "but that doesn't mean you need to go around yelling it to the whole damn city."

She nods quickly and places the saw down on the table, waiting for him to remove his hand. When Jason finally does, he nearly collapses to the floor. Something on Liv's face changes and she immediately reaches out to catch him. He's far too tired and in far too much discomfort to shove her away, but he tenses dramatically and puts as much space between them as he can. 

"You need brains, don't you?" Liv asks, sadness drenching her voice. Jason doesn't remember her being like this, he doesn't remember her personality being like this at all. It was dry, witty and overall  _I don't give a fuck_ , but now, she's cheery and sympathetic and pouty. "Hold on, I'll get you a nice fresh one."

He winces at the words. He still doesn't like it, even though he's already eaten two brains in his new life. That's two too many. 

But he doesn't protest because he knows what will happen to him if he does. Liv explained it to him; zombies who don't eat brains after a certain period of time will turn into full blown Romero zombies. Red eyes and rotting flesh and uncontrollable homicidal tendencies towards anything with a beating heart and a brain. He really,  _really_ doesn't want that. He has enough trouble controlling himself as it is. 

"Here, I was saving this one for another day, but you, sir, definitely need it more than I do," she announces as she comes back into the room with a bowl in her hands. Jason reaches up to unclasp his helmet and tosses it onto the metal table behind him in anticipation. He has a red domino on underneath, as usual. 

It's noodles mixed in with brains, and he hates that it looks like the best thing he's ever laid eyes on. He makes grabby hands for it, and she immediately shoves it his way, understanding showing across her face. He snatches the fork from her and digs in, trying vehemently to ignore the fact that what he's consuming is, in fact, a  _brain._  The more he eats, the better he feels, and he finally has the strength to lift himself up so he's sitting on the second empty metal table away from Liv. He can see the whole room, and it calms the paranoia bouncing around in his skull just a little bit. 

He's halfway through the bowl when the sound of someone whistling out of tune and footsteps echoes down the stairs and through the hall. Jason, purely out of reflex, pulls one of his guns from its holster on his thigh and holds it in the same hand that holds the bowl. He's not in the mood for dropping any bodies at the moment, considering standing takes a hell of a lot of effort in itself, so whoever comes through that doorway has a pretty good chance of living.

The man who walks in Jason doesn't recognize, so he must've come to the GCPD after he died too. The man abruptly stops his whistling, drops the paper bag in his hand on the ground, and stares with an open mouth. Liv looks over to her coworker and smiles. 

"Ravi! I was wondering when you'd be back!" she says, flattening her palms against the table in front of her and leaning onto her toes. 

The man, Ravi, glances back and forth between Liv, Jason, the helmet on the table, and the bowl and gun several times, before making an attempt at speaking. He splutters for a second, before finally getting the words out. 

"Liv, there's a vigilante on the table. And he's eating b-brains," Ravi tells her, his voice completely flat from disbelief. 

Jason waves his fork in Ravi's direction. "Let's not talk about it."

He figures out quick that the man is in on the whole zombie situation because it only takes one look at Jason's sickly pale skin and shock of white hair for him to figure out that he's not just a crazy dude who wandered into the morgue and robbed the freezer. 

But Ravi seems to want to talk about it. "You're... you're the Red Hood," he stammers, and Jason has a hard time figuring out whether he's about to break down into fanboy tears or scream for help. "I'm standing in the same room as the Red Hood."

He's going to go with fanboy tears. He points his fork at Ravi again. 

"Let's not talk about that, either," he mumbles around a mouthful of noodles. 

Ravi doesn't seem to want to give up. "You're a zombie, too!" he says, awed. 

"Or that," Jason sighs under his breath, scraping the bowl and finding himself disappointed that it's gone. "Liv?"

"Yeah?" she responds, turning back towards him with a bright grin.  

"You're on some kind of cheerleader's brain, aren't you?" he asks, scowling in preparation for the question he's about to ask. She nods cheerfully. "Did you just feed me the rest of it?"

"You betcha!"  

Jason's on his feet and reaching for his helmet before she can even finish speaking. The bowl clatters on the metal table as he pulls on the helmet and secures it. He doesn't say a word the whole time, but Ravi watches him intently and Liv simply goes back to her work. 

He pauses in the doorway. "Fuck you, Liv."

He can't see her, because he doesn't turn around, but he can hear her stifled giggling. 

Jason makes quick work of the stairs, but right when he reaches the top, he hears the sound of a body hitting the floor.

Ravi  _passed out._  

Oh well. It doesn't matter. Jason won't be seeing him for around another month.

But for now, he's got a date with the floor of his safe house and the shameful collection of chick-flicks hidden under his bed. 

Because damn. Cheerleader brain. 

**Author's Note:**

> it's not long and it's way overdue but i'm tired, okay? i've slept maybe ten hours over the past four days? we've got finals on friday. it's justifiable.


End file.
